


La lune à 3h du mat

by BlueOswin



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, I don't know what to tag honestly, M/M, The boys get into a fight, at least bits his mom taught him, eliott drunk calls lucas, i promise they don't suffer much i love them too much for that, lucas comes running, lucas likes litterature in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-10 01:50:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20127391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueOswin/pseuds/BlueOswin
Summary: When he was little, around three years old, Lucas watched, fascinated, his mother writing diligently in a little notebook, humming contently,a peaceful smile on her face. Only years later did he stumbled upon the new addition in the notebook. “ I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people” He hadn't fully comprehend it at the time but it felt important somehow. The quote comes to his mind now, caught in an argument with Eliott,  in their tiny apartment,the summer heat clinging to their skin along with their frustration. Lucas jolts awake, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, only then he hears the noise of his annoying ringtone. Still in a daze he answers.“ Lucas baaabyyyyy I miss youuuuu!”Or : Lucas and Eliott got into a fight and Eliott drunk calls him.





	La lune à 3h du mat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone long time no see ;) How are y'all doing? This oneshot was originally written for a prompt which got out of my hands quickly lmao. I am very nervous about posting this one and I legit don't know why lol. Anyway I hope you enjoy!

_ "I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people" _

When he was little, around three years old, Lucas watched, fascinated, his mother writing diligently in a little notebook, humming contently,a peaceful smile on her face. She looked so close yet so out of reach in moments like this,the setting sun shining on her blond hair, casting a golden halo around her. Years later, his curiosity getting the best of him, he opened that notebook. He didn't know how to read but little Lucas wasn't dumb. He could recognise beautiful words when he saw them. After all he was a grown up now, 5 years old are almost adults. Yann told him ! But it didn't stop the feeling of guilt expanding in his chest when his mom caught him, standing up on a chair to reach the desk, notebook open to a random page in front of him. However, his mom didn't scold him like he had expected ( he had already been making up apologies in his head), no his mom only let out a little huff, sparks of amusement dancing in her eyes as she watched the scene unfold from where she stood, leaning on the doorframe. He had watched her come closer, eyes round, heart thumping loudly in his chest. She ran a soft hand through his hair, taking his little body in her arms before sitting on the chair Lucas was previously standing on. Sitting on his lap, he was mesmerized by the sight of her long fingers caressing the thick paper of the notebook.

“You chose a good page darling”

She smiled at him proudly, adoration shining in her eyes, one hand still running in his hair. Lucas was happy, laying his head on his mom chest, listening to her heart beat steadily, her soft voice washing over him in a soothing wave.

“Do you want to know what is written in that notebook?”

He nodded eagerly, his curiosity peaking once again, his little legs kicking a bit in excitement. His mom chuckled at his antics.

“Look love” She put the notebook on his lap, the weight of it making him keep his legs still. Her hand went to cover his. “ I write words or phrases I love in it, memories, quotes, lyrics... Words are beautiful baby remember that. Letters upon letters assembled together to form words, once again put together to form sentences destined to make you feel. There is nothing purer than words.” Seeing Lucas was still listening intently, looking up at her with wonder, she goes on, smiling. “Do you want me to read you some of those quotes?” Lucas nodded again, not able to talk, fearful the magical moment would stop otherwise when his only wish was that his mom keep speaking, he wanted to hear her stories.

She took his fingers in hers, putting it under a written line. His mom had a beautiful handwriting, cursive intricate letters joined by graceful loops. She leant her head on his shoulders, whispering soflty in his ear, her breath tickling him,making a giggle escape him from time to time .

“We live in a rainbow of chaos. This one was written by Paul Cezanne, a famous painter.”

She looked over the pages, selecting the quotes that spoke to her the most in this moment.

“I like this one : “ Every story ever told really happened. Stories are where memories go when they are forgotten”

Lucas gasped, stars in his eyes.

“So fairytales are true? Princess Anastasia is real?”

His mom chuckled, amused.

“Well, yes she is. Just because you can't see her it doesn't mean she doesn't exist. I'm sure she is living her life happily ever after somewhere in the world.”

“So mermaids exist? What about dragons? Knights and wizards? Princesses, elves and talking animals? “

“Yes, they exist baby. As long as they live in your heart they are alive somewhere”

Lucas's mouth went slack in astonishment, not quite processing this new piece of information yet. His mom chuckled fondly.

“Do you want to hear another quote?”

How could he say no? He had a whole new world to discover in front of him. So the night went on like this, way past his bedtime, his mom reading quotes upon quotes to him until he fell asleep on her lap. Every night for the next months, they would sit at the desk, his mom teaching him how to read bit by bit, until he was able to read the quotes to her out loud, and then in his head when he read the notebook alone.

He was alone when he stumbled upon the new addition in the notebook. “ I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people” He hadn't fully comprehend it at the time. But it felt important somehow, so he read it again and again until it was imprinted in his mind.

He was 15 when his dad left them. He understood the quote better now, as he watched his parents marriage fall apart until there was nothing left but shreds. The quote resonated even more with him when his mom starting drifting away and he couldn't do anything to help her. He was 16 when his dad sent his mom away in a clinic, under the pretext that she was unstable, it was the worst day of his life. He was also 16 when he moved out of the now empty house, too big for him alone to join the coloc. Sixteen and no parents in sight would have been a fucking dream for a lot of teenagers. Not for him. He was scared and lonely and confused and he missed his mom and he was terrified of the future. He was 17 when he met Eliott and his fear of the unknown no longer left him paralyzed in fright. It was still there, but it was easily forgotten with Eliott by his side.

He's 18 now, living with the love of his life, who is doing amazing in college when the fear comes back stronger than ever. He is rummaging through boxes left unopened in the back of their closet from when he moved in. His hands stumble across a hard cover. He takes it out of the box, sitting on the wooden floor with  _ The _ notebook on his lap, as if he was still a little child. He brushes the deep purple coloured cover, not believing his eyes. He doesn't even remember taking the notebook with him when he left the house. He should give it back to his mom the next time he'll visit. And all of the sudden he remembers all the quotes his mom wrote in that book. Every single one. Especially the one he learned by heart. That's how his fear comes back. Because of a fucking quote that shook him to his core when he was younger, long before he could even grasp its meaning.

Eliott is not home, not yet. He's been working on a project consuming all his time lately. Lucas is left alone in the apartment almost every nights now, eating alone, falling asleep alone, Eliott coming back in the middle of the night, exhausted, waking up early only to be gone when Lucas wakes up. So loneliness strikes once again, he misses Eliott, not having spent time with his boyfriend for too long has taken a toll on him. It's Sunday afternoon and he promised Lucas he would be there so they could spend some time together. Lucas is already frustrated enough after a talk with the man who has the audacity to call himself his father, and Eliott is not here. One look at the clock on the wall indicates it is nearing four. Eliott promised when he left this morning that he would be done by two. And his calls are left unanswered ! Lucas is worried, tapping his phone in his hand while pacing the living room, stopping sometimes to look through the window in hope to see his boyfriend finally come home. He is this close to calling Idriss when the sound of the lock startles him. Lucas rushes to the door, hugging Eliott to death as soon as the door opens. He feels his body stiffen in surprise underneath him before strong arms tug him closer by the waist. After long minutes , they go back inside the flat, Lucas relief leaving him to be replaced by a dull annoyance. Eliott looks exhausted, dark bags under his eyes, his cheekbones even more prominent, a ghost is would look tanned in comparison. Lucas keeps him close, worried Eliott might faint if he takes a step back. He cradles his face in his palm, running his thumb over the growing stubble on his chin.

“What happened? Where were you? Why is your phone dead?” He asks in a worried tone.

Eliott only sighs, nuzzling in his hand.

“I was at Lucy's” Lucas only gives him a quizzical face. “ The girl I was partnered with for the project.” He heads toward the kitchen, looking into the fridge to find something to eat, Lucas follows him diligently.

“Okay, but why didn't you answer my call?” 

“I ran out of battery.”

Lucas frowns, not really believing Eliott's evasive answers.

“Doesn't Lucy have a charger you could borrow?”

“I didn't think about it” Eliott feels himself getting increasingly annoyed. “ Can we not do this now? I'm tired and hungry.”

“Well you wouldn't be if you had come home earlier to eat." The tension around them build up. " I was waiting for you, you know. It's the only thing I seem to be doing these days.” He utters the last part under his breath, hoping Eliott wouldn't hear him. The universe is against him it seems. Eliott stands up, closing the fridge.

“Sorry what did you say?”

“Nothing.” Lucas looks up at the ceiling. Perhaps if he stares long enough they will drop the topic. Perhaps.

“No you said something and I'm afraid I didn't understand.”

Eliott comes closer, at arm's reach. Lucas scoffs, he brought this on himself no need to put his head in the sand now.He inhales, pinching the bridge of his nose, his foot tapping rhythmically against the wooden floor.

“Okay you want to know? I said that the only thing I do lately is wait for you. Wait for you to reply to my text, wait for you to come home, wait for you to even acknowledge my existence.” He huffs, crossing his arms.

Eliott blinks owlishly, not quite understanding.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me damn well Eliott.It feels like I don't even have a boyfriend anymore.”

He regrets that sentence as soon as it leaves his mouth. Seeing the betrayed look on Eliott's face makes him feel even worse. 

“Do you know how unfair that statement is? I'm working my ass off to pass my exams! And I miss you too Lucas, so fucking much it hurts! I'm sorry for spending so much time away from you. It's only the matter of a few weeks!

Lucas only rolls his eyes 

“Pff, you already said that two weeks ago Eliott. And today you promised you would come back early but you didn't.”

“So that's what it is about? Me coming home late? Are you doubting me Lucas? “

“Of course Eliott! I was fucking worried about you!”

“Because you think I can't handle myself?”

Lucas mulls over his next sentences.

“Absolutely not. Because you're not the type to break a promise and something could have happened to you, that's why. Sorry for caring about you! It would be easier if you answered your fucking phone you know.”

“So now I have to answer every time you text? You are not my mom Lucas I don't owe you anything”

Lucas tried to calm the situation but Eliott is being childish, he might as well let it all out.

“I don't ask for much, just one fucking text to tell me you're okay!”

“Damn it I can't believe it." Eliott paces around the kitchen counter, running a hand in his untamed hair, making wild gestures with his free arm as he speaks. "I can't believe it! You're just like Lucille. Why are you so fucking clingy?”

Lucas opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish, unable to speak, too hurt by Eliott's word. This went too far. When he speaks again, his voice is shaky, trying to calm down.

“Sorry for caring about you Eliott. Sorry for loving you.” The words are whispered, their weight heavy between them.

“Luc I'm...”

“Don't” Lucas raises his hand to stop Eliott from coming closer. He swallows back the lump in his throat. “If I speak I'm going to say something I will regret later, so for now I am going to the bedroom.  _ Don't _ follow me, I don't want to see you right now.”

Lucas turns around, wiping away the falling tears as he sits on the bed, hugging his legs with his arms, screaming his frustration in a pillow. Hours have gone by, he went through his mom's notebook again in an attempt to calm himself. It worked for some time, until he heard noise in the apartment, reminding him that Eliott was here and he was the reason he was crying in the first place. It didn't work anymore afterwards. His heart aches, his body feels heavy, his mind is fuzzy from crying so much. Lucas needs to get out of here. He can't be around Eliott for now, it's too much for him. His decision made, he grabs the duffle bag hidden in the back of the closet, putting clothes at random in it, not really caring about what he's taking with him. He can always come back another day since Eliott is so busy.

Lucas opens the door, almost colliding with Eliott in the process. The latter was behind the door, his fist still hanging in the air in a failed attempt to knock at the door. He looks miserable, like a reprimanded puppy but Lucas doesn't care enough in this moment to feel guilty.

“What the fuck Eliott? I told you I wanted to be left alone!”

He goes to the living room, checking for something he might have forgotten, such as his phone on the piano. He knows Eliott is following him, with more distance between them than usual but he is trailing behind.

“Where are you going?” He asks in a daze, his eyes not leaving the bag in Lucas's hand.

“I can't stay here for now, I'm crashing at the coloc tonight, and maybe for the next week. I need time apart from you.”

“So you just leave instead of talking it out? Very mature of you Lucas. Fantastic.” Eliott applauses mockingly

“ Eliott please stop, don't make the situation worse”

“I'm not the one running away.” He bites his nails, looking everywhere apart from Lucas.

“But you are being childish and petty.”

“Right. You're the one who started this remember? Just pack your things and go since that's what you want." Eliott turns his back on him. "You think I need you Lucas?”

His mom told him there was nothing purer than words, there is nothing as vicious either. Words cut deeper than a knife, Lucas is starting to realize that.

_ "I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people" _

The quote comes to his mind now, caught in an argument with Eliott, in their tiny apartment,the summer heat clinging to their skin along with their frustration

Eliott is pacing like a wild animal in a cage in the living room, pulling his hair out by the roots, venom dripping from his mouth. He is a storm, has always been, ever since Lucas met him he was swept up off his feet, swirling in the wind, breath always knocked out of him. The eye of a storm is the safest place to ever exist so they say. Unfortunately Lucas left the peaceful eye to throw himself in the roaring thunder as soon as Eliott came home. Hearing the poisonous words hurts him more than he thought was ever possible, especially because the truth dawns on him : Eliott has left him. Right here, right now, in their shared apartment, he is physically here, but his heart no longer belongs to Lucas. So he leaves, with a watery “ Goodbye Eliott” he is sure the other one didn’t hear, shutting the door a bit too loudly behind him. 

Passersby stares at him, concerned looks on their faces. Lucas doesn’t care, too caught up in his head to control his body’s reactions. He doesn’t know the road he’s taken to arrive at the coloc, his body acting on autopilot. When he knocks on the door, he watches Mika’s smile fall off his face as he takes him in, pulling him gently into the flat, engulfing him into a giant hug when the door closes. Lucas lets himself be hugged, too stunned to return the warm embrace. Only then he bursts into tears.

//

“Lucas answer your goddamn phone I need my beauty sleep!” Mika screams from somewhere in the coloc.

He jolts awake, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, stretching his back, aching from sleeping on the couch for a week. Only then he hears the noise of his annoying ringtone. Still in a daze he answers, wondering who could call him at three in the morning.

“ Lucas baaabyyyyy I miss youuuuu!” He winces at the loud voice, putting the phone away from his ear.He hears a giggle in the background, covered by loud music.

“Eliott? Where are you?” He straightens up in the makeshift bed.

“Don't know” He hiccups. “ Why do you care?”

His words are slurred, making it hard for Lucas to understand him completely.

“How much did you drink? Is there anyone with you?”

A moment of silence passes where he puts the phone away from his ear to check the line isn't dead.

“Sofiane...” A hiccup.” And Idriss were there but I lost them.” Another hiccup. “They are gone.” Lucas frowns. Is Eliott sniffling? He internally curses his friends for leaving Eliott alone in this state.

“Baby can you send me your location? I'm coming to get you home.”

“Noooooo I don't want to go home if you aren't going with me.” Eliott utters between sobs, if he wasn't crying before he sure is now..

Lucas can feel his heart beating in staccato in his chest, he has to get Eliott home safe. He wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't.

“I'll go home with you.” He says softly, the ghost of a smile grazing his lips.

“Promise me?” The sniffling has died down a bit.

“I promise.”

Lucas can almost see Eliott nods. The line is again silent for a few minutes before a feeble okay can be heard. He hears his phone pings with a text right away.

“Don't move Eliott I'm going to get you”

Lucas hangs up, throwing hastily on the first pair of jeans he can find, almost losing balance when he puts on his shoes. Grabbing his keys, he bolts out of the coloc into the chilly night.

Thirty minutes later, Lucas finds himself looking at his phone, squinting his eyes against the bright light to double check the location Eliott sent him. The garden of the house he is standing in front of is lit up by fairy lights, scattered on the grass or tangles in tree branches. His heart is pounding along with the rhythm of the loud basses sounds. There are a few people chatting in the front yard, drunken laughs echoing in the silent, someone is vomiting near a tree. Lucas inhales, in hope it will give him some sort of courage to find Eliott. He pushes past grinding bodies, the mixed scents of spilt alcohol, sweat and the lingering heat makes him dizzy.

Eliott is nowhere to be seen. He is on the verge of giving up when he catches a glimpse of a golden brown mop of hair standing in the kitchen, hands behind his back, resting on the counter. His heart soars in relief, at least he's found him, he is safe. Lucas slowly approaches, coming to a halt when he takes in the sight in front of him. Eliott is indeed safe, it looks like he's having the time of his life even, head thrown back in laughter, a pretty girl looking at him with hunger in her eyes, biting her lips, her hand travelling teasingly up and down Eliott's chest. She gets tentatively closer, her eyes fixed on his lips. Lucas's heart shatters , his eyes water. Everything happens in slow motion, the fast-paced track in the background doesn't reach his ears anymore, people drunkenly bumping into him doesn't make him turn his head, too transfixed on Eliott. He sees her lips part, can almost guess how fast her blood is pumping in her veins from the excitement of what she's about to do, their lips are millimeters apart when Eliott, in his inebriated state, catches up to what's happening. Lucas watches as he mumbles something close to a “ no thank you”. He slowly comes closer, wanting to know what's going to happen next.

“Why? You liked the first one....” He hears the girl speaking in a husky voice and refrains himself from scoffing bitterly.

At her new attempt at kissing, Eliott turns his head fast, his eyes widening in shock when they fall on Lucas, shoving the girl aside quickly before swaying in his direction. Lucas stands still, not able to move, it's becoming increasingly hard to breathe. He only remembers what he was doing here in the first place when Eliott drops a hand on his shoulder, squeezing a little to keep his balance. He goes for a hug, only to be rejected, Lucas shoving his hand off his shoulders, pinning him down under his stare, only muttering a short “ I'm taking you home” before turning away, guiding Eliott through the house by a firm grasp on his wrist. They part the crowd, ignoring people calling them, only stopping once outside to breathe fresh air. Lucas prevents Eliott from talking, he doesn't want to hear anything coming from him tonight, doesn't have the energy to deal with another fight. He only makes a small gesture with his head, asking him to follow him, their steps synchronizing along the way.

The walk back home is uncomfortably silent, the two boys unable to utter a single word. Lucas hopes that by the time they make it back home, Eliott has sobered up enough for them to talk.

//

The door shuts behind them in a loud bang.

“I swear Lucas I didn’t kiss her! It was a stupid dare and it meant nothing to me! And then she came onto me and... I don’t know I was drunk and upset after our fight so I let her.”

“Can't you see that’s the problem Eliott ! You lead her on! Who knows how far you would have gone together if I didn't come to get you.”.

Eliott runs a hand down his face, dark eyes hardening.

“Do you really think I would cheat on you Lucas? Is that what you think of me?”

“Well I certainly don't want a repeat of the Lucille incident” He snaps, crossing his arms angrily.

“For fuck sakes Lucas it was once and we weren't officially a couple! Will you ever drop it?”

“Maybe it happened once but you were inebriated tonight Eliott, and you know you tend to get flirty when you drink, you can't blame me for being a little suspicious.”

“So you don't trust me. Great.”

“I didn't say that...”

“You didn't need to Lucas.”

They stare at each other defiantly, fire in their eyes. Lucas is the first one to look away, he sighs tapping his foot against the floor rapidly.

“ You know what Eliott, it's late, you're drunk and we're both tired. We'll talk in the morning if you're well enough. For now go to sleep.”

He turns around, not wanting to see the look on his face. The anger and the hurt he's been feeling for the past week are still burning underneath the surface, ready to be ignited again. Lucas closes his eyes, listening to the quiet surrounding them, he can hear the floor creaking above his head. One of their neighbors is a night owl, good to know. A soft hand encircles his wrist, not squeezing, just laying there. A weight falls on his shoulder, he can feel Eliott's breath on the back of his neck, nuzzling there. He suppresses a shiver. His hand goes up his arm slowly, so gently the featherlike touch tickles him. The touches stop once his hands rest on his shoulders, bringing them closer together. Nothing can be heard, only their synched breathing.

Every contact on Lucas's skin prickles him, lighting his skin up in anticipation. How he has craved Eliott's touch during their week apart, tossing and turning on the coloc's couch, feeling cold, having no one to cuddle him, encircle him with his arms in a protective hold. But nothing has changed, they have to talk at some point, about tonight, about them, about where they are going, about what Lucas is the most afraid of. They both said hurtful things, things they regretted as soon as the words were out. Apologies are long overdue. Eliott whispers muffled words against his skin like a prayer, barely audible.

“I'm so sorry love. Come to bed with me. I missed you I missed you I missed you...”

_ I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible _

Lucas wants to give in, his touch-starved body wanting nothing more than to melt into Eliott's. His battered heart however can't handle being too close, in case one of them decides to pull away again. Eyes tightly shut, he wipes away the tear beginning to fall.

_ You'll understand why storms are named after people _

“I can't Eliott” His voice cracks up. “ I miss you too but it's too soon. You really hurt me, I need time. Go to sleep, I'll take the couch.”

He feels more than he hears the deep sigh behind him, the loud exhale leaving goosebumps on his skin. Arms hold him tighter, squeezing once before letting go, leaving him feeling cold, alone in a dark room.

“Goodnight love”

Lucas can't look at Eliott right now or he'll cave in. His will is already wearing thin.

“Goodnight Eliott”

He doesn't see the sweet smile faltering nor the sorrow in his eyes. Lucas stays a while longer looking through the window at the deserted streets, listening to the faint noise of the parisian nightlife. Only when he's certain Eliott won't return to the living room he lets the tears pour. Crying silently on the living room couch, his thoughts run in circles, making him imagine the worst case scenario over and over again. As the sun rises and the birds start chirping he falls asleep, too exhausted to keep his red eyes open.

**Author's Note:**

> I am also on Tumblr @blueoswin come talk to me about elu ( or anything you want truly). I also take prompts so feel free to send me some ;) Also the title of this fic comes from a song called La lune à 3h du mat by Maxenss, go check him out his songs are beautiful. Until next time! * blows kisses at you*


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